Reconnecting With Your Inner Wisdom
What happens when you've spent so much of your life anticipating danger that you begin questioning the very voice meant to guide you?
Trauma can have a great deal of influence on our lives, especially when it comes to maintaining our inner voice in the face of fear. Learning to trust our intuition when interwoven with knowing our capacity to overcome setbacks is not always easy, and with practice, patience, and time, we can learn to discern when others' projections and the noise of the world become so much that we lose our own inner voice or intuition.
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that something isn’t right?
What happens when you are constantly anticipating danger, rejection, or fear?
FLIGHT
FREEZE
More often than not, we revert to one or all of these responses developed over time from trauma.
Take some time to click on hyperlinks to access more information about how to properly identify which states you are being drawn back to.
One of the most common responses to trauma is to avoid conflict; one may develop people-pleasing to avoid conflict, especially within trauma-bonded relationships. This can result in a feeling of needing to seek validation of the relationship, even though the individual has shown through behavior that they are not able to bring a balanced approach to it.
I loved the insight I received from my therapist this past week after a tough incident, and I wanted to share it with you here…
Sometimes the little girl within you will need to seek validation and act from a place that continues to create wounding and specifically feed the abandonment wound.
“What if you did a ceremony around this situation?”
YES
I thought about going with my first choice of ceremony, but if I really want to heal and transcend this deep mother wound, I need to approach this ceremony with a mothering, nurturing energy, so I found an amazing workshop that helps one connect with trees. Symbolically, when we think about family and heritage, the tree seems to be the representation. Our roots may not always be strong, deep, and rooted in love, but because you are a part of that same tree, you can create the sapling and begin your own tree.
We are more connected than we think.
On the first day, I connected with my money tree to remove lack and fears of feeling worthy of connection.
On the second day, I connected with the Birch tree. This allowed me to embrace the peeling, scars, and wounding created by lack, and just like a snake sheds its skin, this beautiful tree creates a sense of renewal, rebirth, and potential for new beginnings by turning the poison of the trauma into medicine with the gentle alchemy of embracing the shame, letting it go, and generating the spark of sweetness again within one’s soul.
On the third day, I connected with the white pine. There are three on my property, and they scale and tower over it. Towards the top, they begin to split into two as their limbs reach toward the sky. The tree inspired me to smile; peace is abundant, even as winter fast approaches. There may have been times along your journey, or even right now, where there is a fork in the path. May you go forward with trust, understanding, and empathy.
Thank you to our Local church here in Western Massachusetts for supporting families like mine and all supportive resources in your community.
There are many representations of the tree, and one of the most prevalent is “PEACE”; deep down, it's something we all yearn for within our hearts and souls. One thing I noticed about connecting with this tree is the solitude of its strength and beauty; its greatness did not intimidate me. The words I felt in its presence were resolution, happiness, and the sense that things have been dark for too long.
This experiment/workshop helped me recognize the life-giving power of the trees and the oxygen we breathe daily, and I realized the tree and I were not that separate.
There is one more day upcoming on the Full Moon, 10/26, and I am excited for this powerful ceremony that extends over a week.
Most of our suffering comes from the fear of being abandoned, of being separate, or of whatever you have experienced.
The most therapeutic part of this workshop hit me today as I was writing this blog.
My life may not always include my mother; I may have to accept the relationship has served its purpose, and its ok for me to shed my leaves, branches, and anything no longer contributing to my overall wellness.'
“I cried and screamed out to that little girl with force and tried to burn every twisted thought and memory. Why? Because I allowed my pain to hinder my purpose.” -Excerpt from my memoir Damaged Girl.
Our stories are not unique, not because they are not individually important; they are universal, and not because they shouldn’t be. The way we heal the trauma is by letting our shame be known.
“I don’t believe you, I never did.”
Words that cut like a knife, but also the truth I needed to embrace this workshop and experiment. Feeling the cold sting of words no child or adult would want to hear can bring up feelings of worthlessness. Shame and even the regret of being alive.
One thing that helped me tremendously with moving from fear to trusting my intuition is relaxing into who I am underneath all the trauma, the quiet versions, the slow versions, the version of myself that finally accepted that I am not different; I am one of many women/men who have experienced trauma.
Remember this:
Things may seem too large to tackle, but when we get to the roots, the core, and clear out the overgrowth to reach the truth, we are letting go of great pain, disbelief, and, yes, trauma.
So don’t change for them
Take the chance to be the change you want to see in the world
Sometimes you may have to pick yourself up off the floor;
Yes, you're worth it!
Check out one of my favorite songs!
F FEAR by being in your B Bish Energy
Do you remember what the fear looked like?
How did it take form?
When it comes to trusting ourselves and our intuition, there is no way to fully eliminate fear, but there are ways to develop the awareness to recognize our emotional, mental, and spiritual states. When we trust ourselves, we can learn to honor our inner knowing rather than misjudge or misanalyze a situation.
We are human; we make mistakes.
The delicate balance between awareness and fear is where the mind and heart can become entangled. When we yearn for things, it's easy to become unclear if we are not able to see from a bird's-eye view. This is where your spirit guides/Animal totems become a great healing path on your journey.
Owl
Eagle
Raven
Deer
Lion
Hawk
Those animals supported me deeply over the last 12 years, and when I look back, I realized one thing that has always stuck out:
I never asked for this path; it was a gift.
I have always looked at it that way.
Being sovereign does not mean you should skip muddy puddles; the journey towards our inner peace takes time to master the art of resting on the wings of doing something that actually calms your nervous system. So be patient.
As humans, we are naturally inquisitive and yes, explorative.
Abandonment was one of my greatest fears
Trust is broken; now what?
Once trust is broken within a situation, yourself, or a relationship, there can become a disconnect, and the lack of love can feel like you deserve it because, if there is a small amount, then this satisfies the aspect of yourself you have become comfortable with. Maybe you want to change it, but you've struggled to balance the people-pleaser within you. Trusting that others are building a relationship with you with true intention is always a gamble.
Knowing and trusting yourself can help you better identify others’ energy and your own.
When we are individuals and can value the importance of solitude, it can lead us away from building relationships only on a performative basis, which fuels the people-pleaser within you, because seeking outside ourselves is a by-product of years of shame, guilt, and sometimes pride used to protect ourselves.
This led to protecting or anticipating without being aware.
Trauma can manifest as unintentionally pushing others away.
There is a delicate balance in knowing when to create safe distance without upsetting the other individual.
Let’s explore the difference between a protective stress response and intuitive awareness.
Important perspective:
Fear is not necessarily wrong, and intuition is not always accurate. Both deserve curiosity and attention to the circumstances.
Fear and protective responses
can be influenced by past experiences
May involve tension and physical responses
May have you anticipating threats
Sometimes these responses are necessary in the event of danger
Intuitive awareness
Can come from subtle clues or healing experiences
Feels like a quiet recognition
Can help with pattern recognition and inconsistencies
Be mindful about influences and your own biases
Your worth can affect more than just relationships; it can also impact your whole life in multiple areas. I recently started listening to a book to increase my worth, and it's allowed me to get real, raw, and honest about my own contributions to self-sabotage and abandonment. Check it out here.
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While my spiritual awakening evolved, and it was clear after fear and resistance that I was resisting stepping into a spiritual path of helping others, as I explored Shamanism, Reiki, and other modalities like Sound, crystal, and hypnotherapy, it became clear that building a blended style of healing could help bridge the gap and merge together already existing ancient and therapeutic practices of healing. Unconventional and sometimes considered weird and unexplained, but when experienced, it is understood.
Sometimes it takes one spark to ignite the flame, and as your passions and path unfold, remember to celebrate along the way.
You're alive, against all odds, and you look better than ever.
DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES
Although our intuition and spiritual reflection do not always determine accuracy, that's where the analytical aspects help keep you accountable, responsible, and courageous.
Try going through this week to make it a habit to set aside 3-5 minutes a day for a spiritual or meditative practice.
Let's do some Reiki and guided meditation together here to get you started.
The Three-Breath Question
A gentle grounding exercise for moments of uncertainty.
I would like to invite you to settle somewhere comfortable, with your eyes open or closed.
Breath One — Notice
Breathe out
Breath Two — Nurture
What do I need in this moment?
Breathe out
Breath Three — Discern
What do I know to be true right now?
Breathe out
Let the breath remain natural and comfortable. You can simply notice your feet on the floor if focusing on breathing feels uncomfortable; that’s ok too.
Allow Reiki energy to enter your root chakra, located at the base of your spine, bringing stability, strength, and renewal to cleanse your mind, body, and spirit.
As you get closer to your peace, allow the heart to beat naturally, the breath to even out, and your mind to rest.
Closing affirmation: "I can listen to myself without rushing toward an answer."
Remember to drink plenty of water, be easy on yourself, and Reiki may not take effect for a couple of days.
For personal sessions, click here
Thank you for joining me on these resets each week. Huge shout-out to those tuning in from around the world.
I appreciate your patronage and willingness to listen, read, and support my blog.
Cliff note:
the whisper beneath the noise
found shelter after the storm
the rain eventually fades
the sun will eventually shine
Affirmation:
“ I am learning to trust my inner wisdom while honoring my feelings, experiences, and boundaries."
Journal prompt: How does fear show up in my thoughts, body, or choices?
Remember, the path to uncovering the woman beneath the trauma begins within.
Love, Elise
Resources:
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-does-fight-flight-freeze-fawn-mean
https://soul.rebeccacampbell.me/treeexperiment/
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A Gentle Reminder: The reflections, poetry, grounding practices, and spiritual guidance shared here are for educational and inspirational purposes and are not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please honor your own boundaries and participate at your own pace.
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